The Day my Twin Babies Died

I lost my twin girls, Eva & Scarlett, to Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) at 22 weeks on September 26th 2010.  It was my second pregnancy & I was thrilled to find out about ‘twins’ at 8 weeks and then 'girls' at 16 weeks. 

I had three blood losses during the pregnancy, the first at 9 weeks, 16 weeks and again at 19 weeks.  I had check-up scans each time, however everything was 'normal' and I was told it was fine.  My 20 week scan was perfect showing no abnormalities and the girls were measured the same size and with strong healthy heart beats and lots of fluid and movement.  I'd noticed I'd increased in size over the next two weeks and had assumed it was due to the babies having a growth spurt.  

The day they arrived I'd woken up to take my daughter and stepson on a fun day out, however after breakfast I felt sick and went to lay down.  I'd noticed I was losing blood at 11am and called the hospital to come in for a check-up, believing it was nothing serious as with the other times.  They did a test and told me it was amniotic fluid and the amniotic sack must have a tear in it. Scans showed the girls had strong heartbeats and I was told they both had fluid around their faces.  I was admitted to a room and told to expect to be there for about 6 weeks until they were strong enough to deliver. 

As I sat in my hospital bed watching TV and eating my dinner I believed everything would be fine and that I would need lots of DVDs and magazines to read to last 6 weeks.  I thought about the washing at home I still had to fold and the second cot that I had to still pick up and the design of the room I had wanted to paint before they came home.  I thought of the kids at home and how they would have to come and visit me everyday.  I realised the twins would need to be in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for a long time, but that would be okay because I would be there everyday with them.  With my mind at ease I doze off.

My contractions began at 7:15pm.  They would not give me a steroid shot as their tiny lungs were not classed as viable at 22 weeks.  I was given drugs to stop the contractions but they were not working.  I thought if I stayed calm and relaxed they would kick in, however I started getting shooting pains in my back as I'd had delivering my first daughter 4 years earlier.  I was given pethadine to ease the pain and then hopped up to go to the toilet.

Eva arrived at 10:25pm.  I was so confused at first, and then shocked.  Her silent, tiny, pale body was so perfect but I shut down with horror at what was happening.  Scarlett came exactly 1 hour later at 11:25pm.  I heard her cries and the midwife said she was moving.  I looked around for her & thought they had taken her to NICU, but she had passed away.

I'm lucky to have beautiful photos, their clothes, blankets, cards, teddies and all the memories I get to keep.  My partner and I had a funeral for them.  We went to see them for the final time, so perfect and peaceful.  There was a rainbow in the sky when we got there and another when we left.  I shed tears everyday for them.  Sometimes just a couple and sometimes a lot. 

Editor's Note: We thank Amy for bravely sharing her personal story. For more information on TTTS read here We also recommend contacting Trudi at the Teddy Love Club, Trudi went through TTTS and is always willing to help parents.


Comments (3)

bindi johns
Said this on 03-07-11 At 03:08 pm

Hugs to you, Amy and family!!!

Katrin
Said this on 13-05-12 At 05:23 pm

Dear Amy, Thanks for sharing your story. I feel for you and your family as I can see your pain and sadness. I lost my twin sons in August 2011 as I suddenly went into labour at only 20+ gestation. A few days before stage 1 TTTS has been diagnosed however no medical intervention was needed for stage 1. The reason why I went into labour has never been established. Again, thank you for sharing your story. I found the journey you go through when losing your babies can be lonely sometimes. All the best, Katrin

Yenti
Said this on 07-04-13 At 10:01 pm

Oh, Amy! I cried the whole way through this. You are an amazing woman and an incredible friend. Thank you for being there for me and allowing me to reach into your pain for comfort. You were/are the one person I know COMPLETELY understands how difficult the emotions of this pregnancy were and still are. We made it to 27w5d; today they turned 30 weeks, and I would have been so much worse off if it weren't for the grace of God giving me your friendship. Thank you, sweet friend. You are too kind. And you know it.

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